How well do you handle change? Most people cringe when they hear that word. And this may come as a surprise, but I actually crave change. While I know routine is healthy for me in some regards (exercise, sleep habits, making my bed), I also know if I don’t change it up every so often, I start to feel real “stuck.”
Lately I’ve been reflecting on how frequently I’ve implemented change in my life over the years (answer: a lot). I’ve started to wonder what constitutes a “healthy” amount of change in a person’s life. I like new beginnings; changing my surroundings usually yields a renewed sense of energy and creativity. Perhaps it’s because I moved many times in my childhood (ok, and adult life). I got comfortable with change early on.
This whole thought process was prompted when Tom and I recently discussed tiling our kitchen backsplash. When I showed him what I wanted he said, “Ok, but remember, we can’t ever change it.” At which point my stomach dropped and I threw up in my mouth a little. Why is it I’m so afraid of commitment? About little, unimportant things? Ask me if I’m certain I’m with the person I’m meant to be with and my answer is a resounding “yes.” Ask me what color I want my nails painted and it’s two minutes of utter turmoil.
I’m starting to question why I gravitate toward change. Why do I feel stuck and sad if I’m in the same place for too long? Why do I get bored and bogged down without some visual variety? Is there something deeper going on? Am I really running away from something? Or am I just wired to benefit from a change in my surroundings?
With the change in season upon us, my mind has been mulling over these thoughts non-stop. Fall is usually my favorite season – each year, I’m ready for the transition. But for some reason, this year feels different. My typical excitement over all things pumpkin is gone and I’m left with a brooding sense of dread. All I can conjure are thoughts of overcast skies, bare trees, and bitter, bone-chilling cold.
I’m hoping that apprehension fades with enough PSL’s, but I also worry it’s a sign of something deeper. Tell me, what do you do to cope with change? Are you for it or against it? Do you crave it like I do, or dig your heels in and refuse to budge?
And can any fellow Chicagoans relate to fearing the fact that WINTER IS COMING?!
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